practical palmistry for women

I found this odd little book the other day...all about palmistry, or chiromancy as it is also known; the art of characterization and foretelling the future through the study of the palm. And I thought to myself, wouldn't it be more useful if the interpretation of our palmar features helped women predict what trouble areas we might encounter down the road, say like, down the old age road. I mean, wouldn't it be great if we could know right now, what we might expect to encounter in our golden years so that we could target our current beauty intervention with more efficacy. I mean, what if your get too fat groove ran like an arctic pipeline clear across your hand. Wouldn't you want to see that now and make the requisite caloric adjustments?
So I took the liberty of altering the book cover and, well, you see the results above. Apparently the practice of chiromancy is generally regarded as a pseudoscience and I suppose I have only added to that tendency.

A little photoshop is a dangerous thing.

dog meets bird meets dog

I was working away at my computer the other day when I looked down to find my little dog Rosie, lying comfortably on the small brown mat near my feet. This is quite common, her lying on the mat. What was uncommon was the large wild turkey lurking a foot or so away and separated only by a sliding glass door. They seemed as mesmerized by each other as I was of them. Of course, I felt a distinct urge to wax anthropomorphic and so I did. In my mind, the conversation between them ran like this:

dog: where's your back legs?
bird: how do you preen that mess?

OK so the bison was stuffed.

Alright, so the bison story was bogus; a hoax, a swindle, a ruse. But this baby is the real thing. And that shadow you see here? That's me, asking permission to take the photo. I thought maybe (as is the custom in other parts of the world) some underprivileged child would rush out of the woods to collect a fee or offer to take my picture with the animal, but it didn't happen. As far as I can tell, there are very few underprivileged children in Banff. I think there's a by-law about that sort of thing.
Anyways, I appreciated my brush with wildlife, such as it was.

Artist Almost Mauled by Banff Bison

I was walking in the town of Banff this past weekend (for my opening at Canada House), minding my business as it were, when suddenly I was confronted by the monstrous hirsute creature pictured above. I was trying to remember everything I had ever learned about what to do in such an instance. Sadly, all the information I could glean from the recesses of my mind, pertained to bears. But it was all I had...so I ruminated just the same. However, in my panic, I quickly became confused, about whether it was the black bear or the grizzly that could climb trees. And one of them you are NEVER supposed to look at in the eye. I was awash in uncertainty as regards protocol, a tragic situation for any girl. And just when I thought things might take a truly tragic turn, the voice of the Parks Canada attendant broke through, reminding me that I had not yet paid the museum entrance fee.

Phew!!